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Let’s say, your child knows he has to work diligently and study hard if he wants a better future for himself. But, without the lights turned on in his path, how would he know where to go and what to begin with?
A good parent turns on the lights for his child. But, a great parent will empower his child by being responsive and kind to questions as the child looks for the lights himself. Informing is empowering.
How to bowl people over:
Teach children how to be likable. What better way to help teens get the attention they crave from their peers than by enabling them with these super soft skills?
There are many ways to impress people at first sight. But, presence, warmth and authenticity rate highest in likability factors. Here is a complete list.
- Be Nice: Don’t discount the doorman or the janitor. Anyone can be a future prospect. Smile. Light up others’ lives if you expect them to bring their A game. Other people have dreams and loved ones too, just like you.
- Be your self: Become self aware to find yourself. Of course, the flip side is you can become so self aware that you become your biggest critic, because you’re also aware of your weaknesses along with your strengths. The point is don’t tweak yourself to suit the expectation of the crowd you’re around. Authentic is a rare breed. Join it.
- Be a unifier: Connect people in your network. Empower people with information, skills and strategies they need to perform optimally. Everyone likes gossip but not the person who indulges in gossip.
- Project good self image: From self awareness, comes your ability to understand your strengths and weaknesses. No one person is good at a 100 different things unless you’re one of those comic super heroes on TV. Celebrate your skills, strengths and achievements and project them outward.
- Increase your perception: Familiarize yourselves with others who are different than you. Give yourself permission to appreciate other peoples’ points of view. Use common sense. Other people have great ideas too.
- Exhibit enthusiasm: Demonstrate curiosity, energy and passion in execution. Don’t have an attitude of mediocre in aiming for goals. Enjoy the journey of change and celebrate every small milestone along the way.
- Be patient: In our world of instant gratification, patience is a priceless virtue. Give others an opportunity to express themselves fully. Be genuinely curious about what others have to offer.
- Listen well: Remember names. Encourage their ideas and be thorough in your remarks. We all know why we’ve been given two ears and one mouth. To listen twice as much as we talk. Don’t be a fake, its very easy to spot one. Its one of humanity’s primal instinct.
- Be a giver: Don’t be a taker. Show your heart. Keep your promises. Energize and elevate the mood in the setting you’re in. No one really needs your monies. Conquer hearts with your presence and warmth.
What is success?
Its important to help children understand that likability doesn’t automatically mean success. Success is a relative term and everyone will have to define it for themselves. Forget trauma, past experiences, personal short comings, we’re what we are because we’re products of our choices.
Children these days hold themselves and their popularity to unreasonably high standards. They look at the Instagram accounts of celebrities and the millions of likes and shares their photos get. They emulate them and create false identities of themselves that they find difficult to keep up with. That in turn can lead to stress.
People on social media do things for shock value or to enhance their cool factor. You must’ve read the latest news on Logan Paul and how he videotaped a suicide victim’s body in a Japanese forest and posted the Vlog for the entire world to see. If this is not stupidity then I don’t know what else is. Its stupidity and arrogance that blinded him from basic human decency by his cult like following on YouTube. Success is sadly that intoxicating.
This kind of behavior is what parents are most afraid of their teens. Their capability of taking impulsive and irrational risks without careful thought of consequences. Without consideration for other peoples’ humanity.
Some definitions of Success like the poem by Bessie Anderson Stanley are timeless.
He has achieved success
who has lived well,
laughed often, and loved much;
whose life was an inspiration;
whose memory a benediction.
On how to hold the stage like any great leader: Speak like a leader by Simon Lancaster
Poem: Success by Bessie Anderson Stanley