* * *
The Indian Prime minister, Mr. Modi, who is visiting the US gave a speech at Madison Square Garden in New York over the weekend. Here is what happened during and after.
Tag line: Not-your-average-brown-guy.
1. You get your ticket’s worth as soon as you spot the yogi and his firangi[foreigner] girlfriend.
Eyyyyyy, you sneaky sneaky, bastard.
2. Quick tips on how to save seats, coming to a theater near you.
Try this for the next Beyoncé concert. No, really.
3. Congressmen, Hugh Jackman and Modi.
The memo read clearly – When dealing with Asians, please display loads of eager civility.
4. There will always be a beautiful brown girl in the story.
And, OMG, look at the Ramleela earrings!!!
5. Holy shit. This dude painted with both hands and upside down for half the time.
One of those non-cacophonous moments when East meets the West.
6. They sang the American national anthem twice and Jana Gana Mana[the Indian national anthem] once?
Come on! Even the violin protested!
7. And danced to what else, but…
You got that one, Jai Ho!! Yikes!
8. Modi spoke in Hindi. Goodwill needs no translation.
And it’s MO-DI, not MO-BY, you dick!
9. Modi, the steel tumbler and the rotating stage.
They are in every God damn house. Those tumblers.
10. Yes, Muslims were there too.
Yes, we get along really well. And yes, they are Indian and Muslim.
11. Elsewhere, Times Square looked like this!
Leaving not much scope for racial tension. Gasp! All those saved seats?!
12. This guy who answers nature’s calls in nature came up a lot in the speech.
Wait buddy, they are building toilets!! This time, it might be for real.
13. Apparently, the Indian Police is getting really good with their timing.
And, Bollywood’s irrational version of a cop usually has a sexy girlfriend and Eastern European dancers for his entourage.
14. Corrupt politicians will no longer be able to curry favor.
There is no ration on this, except for the garib[the poor man].
15. These ladies came up a lot. Mother India, Maa[Mother] Durga, Maayi[Mother] Ganga.
Sooooooooo many mothers. #IncredibleIndia.
16. He will combine PIO[Person of Indian Origin] and OCI[Overseas Citizenship of India] statuses and all PIOs will get lifetime Indian Visas.
Bottom line, until that sorts out, we keep marrying for Greencards.
17. He talked very briefly about the most successful “mission” during his term as Prime Minister.
#The Social media Spectacle#
18. PIO card. Check. Good school district. Check. Home. Check. Nissan Leaf. Check.
19. Swag? Oh yeah, we Desis got it!
There is absolutely no mention of what she is inspired to do!
20. This guy was under the spell.
And, he forgot to SPELL!!
21. A nation of lions and loin cloths!
Why this “motivational quote” was any different in the first place, I will never know.
22. We don’t miss even the remotest references to the English Man’s game.
Suckers, now you can retire, hurt.
23. #ModiInAmerica encouraged #MakeInIndia and the use of his business development website “mygov.in”.
There will always be a “gotcha” guy who always wants to dilute our happiness.
24. Gotcha Guy #2.
Wow, you are a true national hero. No, no, not you Gandhi.
25. Gotcha Guy #3.
Pretty barbaric, eh? He is smiling in his mug!
26. BTW, for your next Beyoncé concert, the venue has changed.
It is not Madison Square Garden anymore!