Disclaimer: It has been a day of hurt, and so, I am going to be a bully, a rebel and a bad girl.. But, just for today.. Because, one day and one story will change your mind and your attitude, and I hope to achieve it by bullying you, if I have to.
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That night was not normal and I had to pee badly, my body was shaking, and it was almost time to go to bed.. But, there I was racing towards downtown in that cold October evening in nothing but my night-clothes.. The caller hadn’t finished telling my husband what had happened to my son and why he ended up in the Emergency room at such a later hour that night, and I made a mad dash for the car keys even before hearing what anyone had to say any further.. Our confused daughter at home was quickly shoved off in through a reluctant neighbor’s door.. And here in the car, my husband was begging me to give him the wheel, but my ears and eyes were choked, while I struggled to stay focused to get there and figure out everything for myself..
And there I finally gave him a chance to drive, at that moment when I exited the car, while it was probably still in gear, racing towards the emergency door of Alleghany Regional Medical Hospital, leaving it for him to park the car and follow me inside, wherever I was..
“The stale mate cannot last, and the battle continues..
The Transformers – Revenge of the Fallen has giant robots that transform into trucks and fighter planes and helicopters, that have plane throwers and can crush things that make them explode. I promise, it is a lot of fun, complete mayhem, it will be!”
Just 3 years ago, one evening after a game on the XBox 360, of some explosions and other cacophonous experiences, Kyle had declared that it was time for his sleep over.. I poked him playfully with my elbow and asked him if he was going to a girlfriend’s house for a movie night.. “Maa, cut it out!” he had said, pretending to be annoyed.. By 15, he had taught me the art of video gaming, first at a computer with a gaming console, then a Nintendo DS, then more at a Wii Pokemon game.. We had together improvised the art of sharing and rotating our individual consoles with our friends and families and always took pride in finding out deals for used gaming cartridges.. And giggled that the bad economy made us cheap gamesters.. ! That was my boy, my lefty, my joy and ALWAYS considerate to others faults – Kyle.. And tonight he was in a hospital bed with a badly hurt and injured body after being hit by a car, off campus of the University of Pittsburgh.
Bryce was next to Kyle holding his hands for comfort, while Anusha, Angela and Josef looked on.. They were a team of college freshmen, also childhood friends through Westmont High, so, the sight was very comforting.. of course, along with my boy’s attentive stare at us which indicated to me that he had the consciousness of who his parents were.. “Hi Ms. Gopichund, how are you?! Well, we were all walking and discussing our lab results about our research on cockroaches with rectal tumors.. And then this car came out of nowhere and scraped him off the street.. Look at him, he is not so badly out of shape though!” I strained a smile on my face, dismissing Josef who wore a “I am sucker for chick flicks” T-shirt, knowing he was always the one to ease any awkward or unhappy situation with a gross humorist view of his small world.. He was a good boy, and his mother should be proud!
“Mom and Dad, I am fine, don’t worry, and if someone has to stay with me for tonight at the hospital, Bryce wants to stay back.. !” Kyle was speaking in a soft voice, “You might want to get home for the night for Abi, she has school tomorrow, doesn’t she?!”..
My eyes had lost track of how the bed-ridden boy was, and were only fixated on one thing, Bryce’s hand clutching his hand..
“No, sweetie, Bryce should go back to the dorm, and let daddy or me take care of you tonight!”..
“But, mom ..”..
I did not let him finish.. And to the surprise of everyone in the room, including myself, I declared,
“Kyle, do you know what they call my friend, Matt?? A faggot! He has never bothered to mention it to anyone, but people know.. because he is a flight attendant.. ! But most importantly, do you realize that we have been living here in the city since 1994 and we know about 170 Indian and American families, what would we tell them???! That, our boy likes a boy and that he hopes to marry him some day!”
“Oh, your father and I should have been able to figure it out, right?! — You are an artist, were never really interested in girls but studies, your gait, your emotions, the way you are more of a daughter to me than your sister..” I felt much older than my years as I heard those words coming out of my mouth..
“I can’t even believe that I sat and played hundreds of video games with you, just so you would be interested in some manly games.. and not drown yourself in your paintings.. This is so disappointing Kyle!”
He stared at me with amazement, and was talking back meekly now, “Mom, I did not know that you were so prejudiced and had such feelings and questions about me, I would have been happy to think of you as a cheap person, but you are not, you want to take away all my happiness.. Don’t you?!”, Suddenly, I felt that a little portion of the literary sense and quirkiness, which was part of my genealogy had rubbed onto him, but his words forced me to stay on the point.. “Bryce is just a friend mom, and I am NOT romantically involved with him.. It is ironic for me, because you are the Chief Coordinator for the Metro Pittsburgh Food Bank, and promote compassion and love for strangers as part of your motto.. And, you LOVE the Arts, just like I do.. What does that make you momma.. ?? I don’t have anything else to say to you, please leave now..”.. He then turned his gaze reluctantly to Josef..
I took two steps backwards and stuck myself to the wall, and as I was absorbing his accusatory tone, I could see Kyle’s dad, Angela, Anusha and Bryce leave the room.. They had turned their back on me and left the room, but not Josef.. “Ms. Gopichund, that’s cool, no worries, I get that all the time..! See, they even got me a T-shirt for my birthday, Ha Ha!” And he hopped out of the room asking to be excused..
There, at that moment, I evaporated with shame and as I became the subject of my own derision, a sense of guilt overcame me for betraying my own life, my values, my irresponsible rush to judgement and ultimately my very own child’s trust.. Has anyone found a way to take back a hurtful word, let alone the brutal acts of violence and slaughter??!
Compassion starts at home, and like my grandmother said, if you don’t have a kind word to say, say NOTHING!
By definition, the Gay Pride is “The movement that has three main premises: that people should be proud of their sexual preference and gender identity, that sexual diversity is a gift, and that sexual orientation and gender identity are inherent and cannot be intentionally altered.”
My version: And today, I proudly want to say, I have Gay Pride! Would you not be proud of who you are, and let your fellow passengers in this short journey of life, be what they want to be, and how they have chosen to live their lives.. ?? Just like how you execute the terms of freedom in your life, don’t you think every human being has also earned the right to do so.. ??!
The school bully version (as promised, it is gonna sting) : First, what is your problem, what is the point of these hate crimes???! If you think Gays and Lesbians will drive the world to extinction, think again! Because, if you still believe in that theory, either you are a dinosaur or have never heard of the Octomom!
Choose, which one are you, and choose right now!
Secondly, about AIDS?! A few of them might not have heard of the word ‘protection’, but I know one thing for sure, you haven’t heard of the word, E-D-U-C-A-T-I-O-N!!
introduced to me by a fellow blogger and now a good friend, Wendy at:
Dedication: To all the homosexual people in my life, who have been part of my life in some capacity, big and small, and have enriched it through our interactions, love.